My friend has challenged me to a duel! The best kind of duel!
We are to write in our blogs once a week.
Cool,
Here goes….
OK, so a billion years ago (not that long, really) I fell in love with a “taken” man. And that never culminated into anything, so I fell in love with another “taken” man. ‘Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it’ they say. This one did result in a relationship. It didn’t end well…lol
Because at first, you see, I convince myself that I will not get serious about said “taken” man, I’m only here for the vo-de-o-do. After awhile, however, I begin to resent the time and energy spent away from me. Meanwhile, he’s thinking he has it made, and only beginning to wonder if I might be getting too attached.
His intuition is right, and I am getting way too attached. And I’ll tell you why. Deep down in my little girl soul I long and yearn for a true relationship with a man. I don’t want to admit it, but I do, and there is no cure for that.
So my anger starts to eat me, and I start ‘picking away’ at this man. He starts to wonder why he even went there with me, and starts appreciating his significant other more. From there, it’s either a long, slow death spiral, or someone gets merciful and ends the agony quickly.
Either way, I lose. I lose a relationship that I invested in, I lose the man, and I lose a little self respect. I wrote this down in the hopes that I don’t repeat my history. Wish me luck…I’m not perfect!
-ag
Girl, we're all just confused about relationships. It's got nothing to do with being perfect. Maybe you could reframe the story. We are conditioned to believe in the fairy tale relationships. So you do want it and nothing wrong with that. But, you are also fiercely independent. Taking up with a "taken" man gives you the male connection without losing your independence. You are both really having your cake and eating it to. It's just that he knows it and you don't.
ReplyDeleteyou say: "i lose" - no, you win your not still there.
ReplyDelete"i lose a relationship...i invested in." definition of invested: devote (one's time, effort, or energy) to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result. key word 'expectation' (assumption, presumption, conjecture, surmise, calculation, prediction, hope.)
"i lose the man" - can't lose what you never wanted.
"i lose a little self respect" - self-esteem, faith in oneself, self-confidence. please! take a look at who you are, just one word,awesome! breathtaking, awe-inspiring, magnificent, wonderful, amazing, stunning, fearsome, mind-blowing, excellent, marvelous, wondrous, impressive. ok, so it was more than one word.
"i hope not to repeat my history" - it's ok to repeat history. if we don't learn the first or second time of corse we have to repeat. i first learned this in the 8th grade when i had to repeat it. (was having to much fun to study) as a teacher you would not want to send a student to the next level for if she didn't understand the first one the next she would surly be lost. blah blah blah (^%
as for me i would like to be a teacher but i can not teach what i have not learned. and i am incredible slow, but i don't mind now that i know where one lesson stops another one begins.