While playing at my online game, I noticed something that I hadn't noticed before. A person asked to be my friend, I accepted, and later this person would show up unasked to step into my gaming 'battles'. I usually have no problem with this, as this game promotes helping your fellow gamer out. This person, however, did nothing to assist, but merely hung out, gaining experience points and levels, while I was doing all the work. He said, "I have the boss", so I watched and gave him some free reign to get the 'boss'. Did he? No. Finally I had to kill the boss and be done with the battle. Then I removed him from my friend's list. Quite simply, this person is a parasite.
Then I attend a party with a relatively new group to me, and had a little knowledge beforehand on two of the couples there and their relationship with one another. I saw a third couple there that also exhibited the same energy. Let me explain. Partner A in all these couples are the wounded ones, the ones that never seem to hold down a job, never have good energy to bring to the table, and are jealous, mean and disruptive with their spouse. Partner B in all of these couples provide resources, take on the awesome resposibility of 'A's mental health issues, and take an awful lot of abuse for their troubles. Partner A is the parasite, and Partner B is the host.
In my younger years I would have thought that the parasite was "misunderstood" and feel badly for them, because, obviously, they were "wounded", and needed my assistance to reach a higher level of existance, to become a productive member of society AND the person I wanted them to be.
Hi, my name is Jimena, and I am co-dependent!
Now, because of all the experiences that I have had, and all the things that I have seen, I do know a few things, and here they are:
1. A parasite will never change as long as someone is catering to their every whim (hint, YOU!). Because we reward their crappy behavior with our continued presence and resouces.
2. Whatever they accuse you of doing, that you would never think of doing until they actually accused you - they are doing that very thing. Watch your back!
3. They will say and do whatever it takes to keep you there with them, providing them with whatever you are providing. And they will do what they want to when you are not looking.
4. They will try to cause disruption in the host's life through friends, family, jobs, etc. They are very, very insecure, and need to know that the host will never have an epiphany that will take them away from this very, very dysfunctional situation. Communication with others can bring insight, and believe you - me, they don't want the host to know that there are better choices out there!
5. A parasite has lost their connection to the God/Source, so be prepared for:
a. They are miserable, and can only be happy if they are able to cause misery in others. It makes them feel like they are in control, and it keeps the playing field 'even'.
b. They are selfish to the selfish extreme. They do not know how to love, and you will not teach them how, either. They have lost their ability to be compassionate to others, so all relationships are always about CONTROL.
c. They have no way to 'refuel' themselves through God/Source, so they will feed on the energy of others, and the host, most especially. After dealing with them, and after confrontations with them, you will be drained of all energy, which is specifically designed to keep you from moving away from the situation.
And lastly, I must say, most of the 'hosts' that I have known over the years become less and less themselves the more time they spend in these relationships. It's like they become a shadow of themselves and their former glory. They become harder to speak to, and less able to hear. They withdraw into themselves more, and find other avenues of escape. They have somehow taken on the darkness of the parasite and carry this around with themselves, which is a sad waste of life.
Do not delude yourself into thinking that you can or will have a positive influence upon these parasites. Be aware that they most assuredly will have a negative influence upon your own life.
Understand that there is a darkness, a place that needs healing, within ourselves, that we need to search for and be compassionate with. Because otherwise, we would not be looking to drink from dark waters when we thirst. -ag