When we sit to studies and duties laid before us, we are focused to a fine precision point. Very little disturbs our concentration when we are here. We are trained well. But some times the brain registers some thing “out of kilter” at the very edge of our attention, and this can distract us from our purpose. And it will distract us whether we welcome it or not. It registers as “off”.
One day, hunched over my screen, I feel some thing “off” to the side. I look up, my feeble attempt at investigation. Walking into the room is a mysterious older woman, dressed in a long black tunic that fell almost to her shoes. She moved silently, almost gliding, across the floor. I was mesmerized.
Her hair is yellow and short, but thick. She wears wire frame glasses, and (oddly enough), an anklet with bells. With each step she takes you hear the sharp, quick jingle. When you look in her face, though, you perceive that the anklet is not an expression of gaiety, but rather a warning, much like a bell on a cat’s collar. Her expression is enigmatic, hard to read, but she is aware of us all, although not looking directly at any of us. Now that I have noticed her, I am unwilling to be noticed by her, so I slink my head back in the direction of my studies, and watch out of the corner of my eye.
The instructor doesn’t acknowledge her; it’s as if she doesn’t even exist in this world, gliding to her purpose. In one door, out another, back in another door, gliding out another. I am fascinated. Who is she…what is her function here? Should we be concerned? She doesn’t have a feel of a instructor, more so an outsider with authority and a mission to accomplish. I become anxious.
I don’t want anything to disturb the balance of my life. I don’t want any one to interfere with my studies. I like it here, absorbing knowledge on an unprecedented scale. I know that the nature of all energy is to change, but I dread any change to this existence at all. I begin to resent her, because this is what she will require of us at some point. She represents our future, which is unknown, and unsettling. I can feel this all the way into my bones, and I decide that I will not be taken unaware. I will find out who she is, and what lies ahead for us. I will attempt to recruit others to this cause as well.
I will know what lies ahead for us, all of us. I will find out what her plan is. More importantly, I will choose my own destiny, and not have a path chosen for me. I choose. Me.